A Royal Epidemic
by Ri2
Summary: The Royal Knights are shaken to their core when one of their own contracts a dangerous illness, one for which there is only one recourse! Or is there?


Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me

…

The staccato sound of fingers drumming against the table filled the Royal Knights' conference room. It echoed, bouncing from wall-to-wall, reverberating and growing in intensity until it filled the ears of the room's occupants, drowning their thoughts and slowly driving them mad from the incessant, unceasing, drumming.

"Could you please stop doing that?" Examon pleaded desperately. "You're giving me a headache."

"Huh? Oh, sorry," UlforceVeedramon apologized, stopping drumming his fingers.

Examon sighed in relief. Silence filled the room once more.

Silence interrupted when the drumming started again. Examon groaned.

"What's taking him so long? This is ridiculous!" Dynasmon complained.

"Aren't you usually even later to meetings than this?" Leopardmon pointed out.

"Yes, but everyone knows I'm completely and utterly irresponsible and can't be counted on to ever be on time! Craniamon is like, the total opposite of that!" Dynasmon countered. Leopardmon reluctantly had to admit he had a point.

"Ugh, this is so boring. Why can't we just start the meeting already? So what if a few of us are late?" Kentaurosmon complained.

"We might, if it weren't for the fact that Craniamon is the one who called this meeting to order in the first place, so we CAN'T start without him," Omnimon pointed out.

"Does anyone even know what he wants to talk about, anyway?" Examon asked.

"Not really, and I don't particularly care," Alphamon grunted from his place at the head of the table.

"Perhaps he has come up with a stratagem to vanquish our greatest foes, the Seven Great Demon Lords, once and for all?" Jesmon suggested.

Crusadermon laughed. "Child, your continuing optimism and idealism is an inspiration for us all!"

"It's also stupid," Dynasmon piped up.

"Well, yes, it is. It's a marvel your naivety has yet to be crushed by the cold, harsh, reality that is our life," Crusadermon waxed. "It's quite poetic, really. Perhaps I should compose something…"

"Please don't, my headache is bad enough already," Examon complained.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late," Magnamon said as he entered the room. "I miss anything?"

"No, nothing's happened yet-" UlforceVeedramon began, only to stop and stare at his cousin, aghast.

He wasn't the only one. Every other Knight in the room was staring at the weakest member of their order with expressions of shock, disbelief, and horror on their faces. (Presumably, anyway, given that nearly all of them wore all-inclusive Helms) "Oh no…" UlforceVeedramon whispered.

"Not again…" Omnimon moaned.

"And here I'd thought it would never happen again," Leopardmon groaned.

"Friend Magnamon, what has happened to you? You look so different!" Jesmon said, surprised.

"I was hoping you guys could tell me, actually," Magnemite commented, looking down at himself. He'd grown taller, his body becoming more muscular, his tail longer, his claws sharper, and his armor sharper and more elaborate, with glowing green gems on his helmet, shoulders, hands, knees, and loin-guard. "My first thought was I'd hit Digi-puberty or something, but I'm pretty sure that's already happened-"

Alphamon slammed his fist on a panel in front of him. "This is an emergency alert, Code X! Seal all exits, were going into total quarantine lockdown!"

"Wh-what? What's going on?!" Magnamon stammered in alarm as the lights turned red and sirens started blaring all over the building.

"Great, just what I needed," Examon groaned, his head throbbing.

"I would like to know as well, my liege. What is happening?" Jesmon demanded.

"I'm afraid it is a matter of greatest importance. It seems that Magnamon has been infected… With the X-Antibody!" Omnimon declared dramatically.

There was a pause. "The what now?" Jesmon asked after a moment.

Omnimon deflated. "The, the X-anti body? Leftover of the X program that got carried over when Yggdrasil wiped out 98 percent of the population so he could start over in a new world?"

"I have never heard of it," Jesmon confessed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Magnamon added.

Dynasmon rolled his eyes. "Typical. What are they teaching Knights these days? It's disgraceful!"

"I seem to recall you not even knowing it existed for several years," Crusadermon pointed out.

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME," the dragon knight bellowed.

"Wait, Yggdrasil wiped out 98 percent of the population? That's monstrous! Why would our Lord and master do such a thing?" Jesmon demanded, startled.

"The digital world was getting overpopulated," Leopardmon explained.

"Also, the guy's a Dick," Dynasmon grunted.

Jesmon gasped in horror. "You cannot speak of our Lord that way!"

"He probably shouldn't, but yeah, he's kind of right. Yggdrasil is kind of an asshole," Alphamon said apathetically. Jesmon stammered in disbelief, unable to believe that his Liege would speak of their master in such a way.

"Basically, Yggdrasil chose to delete most of the Digimon of the old world utilizing the deadly X program," Omnimon explained. "However, a few managed to survive, internalizing it and transforming it into the X-Antibody, which causes any Digimon that gets infected with it to become stronger and take on a new form. Sort of a pseudo-Digivolution, though I suppose it could be called 'X-Evolution.'"

"Oh, so that's what happened to me? Neat!" Magnamon said, excited. "Maybe now this means I can get into fights without my armor spontaneously exploding for no reason whatsoever!"

"Well, yes, that would be the case," Leopardmon said slowly. "Except that standing orders from Yggdrasil are to terminate any Digimon possessing the X-antibody we encounter on sight."

Magnamon paused. "Wait, what?!"

"Are you serious?!" Jesmon cried, surging to his feet. "That's monstrous! Why ever would our Lord demand such an atrocity from us?"

"Well, it's because…uh, because… Hey, boss, why DOES Yggdrasil hate X Digimon so much anyway?" Kentaurosmon asked his superior.

Alphamon shrugged. "Heck if I know. Maybe because they're a constant embarrassing reminder of his botched genocide? All I know is, orders are to kill any we encounter, and fortunately, that includes you now, Magnamon."

"Don't you mean ' _un_ fortunately?'" Examon asked.

Alphamon considered this for a moment. "No."

"H-hold on just a second, how we know for sure that I have this X-thing?" Magnamon protested desperately. "I mean, my firewalls are totally up-to-date! I just updated my antivirus software! I can't possibly have picked this thing up!"

"Are you sure about that?" Omnimon asked sharply. "You haven't done anything recently that would lead to you getting infected?"

"No! Absolutely nothing, except… Oh no," Magnamon groaned, putting his face in his hands.

"What? What is it?" UlforceVeedramon demanded.

"The other night at the club, I had a few too many drinks, started chatting up this really hot Nefertimon who I thought looked kinda weird at the time but figured she was just a variant or something, and one thing led to another and we decided to interface, but then I got this weird error message asking me if I trusted her certification, and I probably should've realized at the time that was a red flag, but I was pretty drunk and… Well, she was SO hot, and…" Magnamon muttered, embarrassed.

UlforceVeedramon groaned. "Dammit, cousin…"

"Ha! Serves you right for sticking your port where it don't belong!" Dynasmon laughed.

"And how many times have YOU picked up malware because you weren't careful with protection?" Leopardmon asked.

"What are you talking about? My beloved has never slept with another except for me," Crusadermon asked, confused.

"Absolutely right, muffinkins! Nobody but you!" Dynasmon said very loudly. "HAHAHA let's change the subject."

"Right. Sorry about this, Magnamon, but we're going to have to kill you. Nothing personal, but orders are orders," Omnimon said apologetically.

"But-but I thought we were supposed to be heroes, upholding justice in the digital world! Since when do we follow draconian and cruel orders like this?!" Jesmon demanded.

"Uh, since always?" Dynasmon said.

Kentaurosmon nodded. "Yeah, our order has a long history of committing unspeakable atrocities on the questionable orders of a morally ambiguous higher power and claiming it was justice after the fact. Kind of uncanny, really."

"But-but-but you CAN'T kill me!"" Magnamon protested. "I'm one of you, a Royal Knight! Without me, our order will be incomplete once again!"

"Eh, wouldn't be the first time," Leopardmon said dismissively.

"Yes, we have slain our comrades in the past for the crime of being an X Digimon. Valiant Omnimon isn't the first of his kind we've had in our order," Crusadermon said with a shrug.

Omnimon nodded. "Yeah, I'm maybe the third. And I'd say we're also on our fifth Leopardmon, second Gallantmon, eighth UlforceVeedramon, thirteenth Dynasmon, and you'd be…like, our twenty-fourth Magnamon?"

"Your kind don't tend to last very long in our order. It's a miracle you lasted this long, to be honest," Alphamon commented.

"Wait, I'm the THIRTEENTH Dynasmon?! I thought I was the first!" Dynasmon cried, alarmed.

"No, we only told you that during recruitment to keep you from being scared off at the knowledge of just how many of your predecessors have died before you," Omnimon confessed.

"And of all the assholes before you, you definitely have to be the worst," Leopardmon grumbled.

"… Well, at least I have that to fall back on," Dynasmon admitted. "Am I at least the first to hook up with Crusadermon?"

Everyone burst into laughter. "Regrettably, no, beloved," Crusadermon admitted. "Truth be told, you are but a pale shadow of the first of your name to win my heart, and I only formed a relationship with you – – and all your predecessors – – in a desperate attempt to fill the void that great Knight left when he died. It's so tragic, is it not beautiful?" She cried, swooning dramatically.

Dynasmon considered this for a moment. "Eh, so long as I keep getting sex, I guess I'm good with it."

Alphamon nodded at Omnimon. "Well, it's better we get this done quickly, before it gets any more awkward. Omnimon, do your duty."

"Yes sir," Omnimon said, rising to his feet, the Grey Sword sliding out of his left hand.

"N-no, wait! Can't we talk about this?!" Magnamon asked desperately, backing away as the much larger Knight strutted towards him. "Someone, please, help me! That's your job, right? To help those in need?! And I'm REALLY in need right about now!"

"Yeah, but it's also our job to uphold the orders of our tyrannical deity named after a mythological tree," Kentaurosmon said apologetically. "Or else it's our heads on the chopping block."

"I never liked you anyway," Dynasmon snorted.

"I… Am sorry, comrade, but while this goes against my own personal code of justice, I cannot disobey our Lord and master. If this is what he wills, there must be a good reason for it, even if it is not one I can comprehend," Examon apologized solemnly.

"Fear not, comrade! Even though you shall die and your data be scattered to the winds, one day you shall be reborn in Primary Village, hopefully as a Digimon without the misfortune of carrying the X-antibody! And in the meantime, you shall be immortalized in song and poetry by yours truly, who will ensure none ever forget the glorious tragedy that was your life and death!" Crusadermon proclaimed.

"Okay, now I actually feel a little sorry for you, poor bastard," Dynasmon confessed.

Leopardmon shrugged. "Sorry, kid, them's the breaks. All X Digimon must go."

"Wait, what about Alphamon?" Examon asked suddenly.

Alphamon stiffened. "What _about_ me?"

"Didn't you _spread_ the X-antibody in the first place?" The Dragon asked suspiciously.

"No I didn't," Alphamon said quickly.

"Really? Because I thought I heard somewhere that back when you were a Dorumon, you-" Examon started.

"Is there an X in my name?" Alphamon demanded sharply.

"Well, no, but I don't see what that-" Examon stammered.

"Do I have an X in my name?!" Alphamon repeated.

"Well…uh… No, you don't," Examon admitted.

"If I don't have an X in my name, than I don't have any trace of the X-antibody in my system. That's how it works. End of story," Alphamon said firmly.

"But-" Examon protested.

"END. OF. STORY," Alphamon repeated loudly. "And for that matter, don't _you_ have an X in your name, Examon?"

Crusadermon gasped. "My goodness, he's right! In fact, if you remove the A, his name is Exmon!"

"Hey yeah, maybe that means HE'S the source of the X-anti-body!" Dynasmon added eagerly. "Maybe we should kill him too, just to be safe!"

Examon ground his teeth and looked down at the table ashamedly. "… Never mind. I guess I must've heard wrong."

"That you did. That you did," Alphamon said coldly.

"Cousin, help!" Magnamon pleaded desperately. "We're family! You can't let them do this to me!"

"Dammit…" UlforceVeedramon growled, standing up. "Omnimon, stop."

The second-in-command of the Royal Knights paused. "You sure you want to do this?"

UlforceVeedramon nodded as he walked around the table and stood at Magnamon's side, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Yes, I am. He's right, we are family. And because we're family… It should be me who executes him, nobody else."

"Yeah, that's… Wait, what?!" Magnamon shrieked in disbelief.

"Don't worry, cousin, I'll make it quick. You won't even feel a thing," UlforceVeedramon promised the smaller Knight as he dragged him out of the room.

"No! No! NO!" Magnamon screamed in despair as he futilely struggled against his captor's much stronger grip, his pleas for mercy fading as he was pulled away.

There was a long silence. Finally, Jesmon said, "Does anyone else feel as if we have just allowed a great injustice to take place?"

"No," Dynasmon said.

"Yes, but I've long since hardened myself to it," Kentaurosmon admitted.

Omnimon sighed. "As have I."

"My head is hurting too much from those loud sirens to really think about that right now," Examon groaned.

"I honestly don't care if any one of you lives or dies," Alphamon said flatly.

Without warning, Craniamon rushed into the room. "Sorry I'm late, I had to finish up a few last things in the lab before coming over. Why are the alarms going off? Are we under attack? Did Dynasmon manage to find another megaphone?!"

"Nothing so dreadful as that, thankfully," Omnimon assured the other Knight.

"Why does everyone keep acting like me getting one is the worst thing possible?" Dynasmon complained.

"Because it is," Leopardmon said bluntly.

"I would rather have Laylamon's nails driven into my eyes while Lucemon rapes me with his larval form's stinger in the ass than suffer you singing through a megaphone again," Kentaurosmon said seriously.

"… Dude. Really?" Examon asked, grossed out.

"Can't be worse than Dynasmon's amplified voice," Kentaurosmon said cynically. Dynasmon huffed and crossed his arms.

"Then what's going on?" Craniamon asked in confusion.

"Our dear comrade Magnamon has caught the X-antibody! For the sake of their familial bonds, UlforceVeedramon took it upon himself to execute his cousin in Omnimon's place! So beautiful… They should have sent a poet… Oh wait, they did: ME!" Crusadermon declared.

"What?! That's horrible!" Craniamon cried, aghast.

"Yes, it is, and something which shall weigh on my Digi-Core until the end of my days-" Jesmon began.

"No, you don't understand! The reason I called this meeting was to tell everyone that I've discovered a CURE for the X-antibody!" Craniamon interrupted.

Everyone started this. "You've done WHAT now?" Leopardmon asked, startled.

"I've developed a cure! The X-anti-antibody!" Craniamon explained. "Once it's mass-produced, we can spread it across the entire digital world, and cure every X Digimon so we no longer need to execute them on Yggdrasil's orders! We could save millions of lives!"

Everyone was stunned by this revelation. "That… That's incredible!" Examon said excitedly.

"Oh, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles! What a happy day!" Crusadermon cried.

"Yeah, too bad it's too late for it to do Magnamon any good," Dynasmon sneered.

"Not necessarily," Alphamon said sharply. "Kentaurosmon, go after UlforceVeedramon and stop him before its too late. Craniamon, get back to your lab and do whatever you need to get that cure ready for Magnamon. Dynasmon, drop dead."

"On it!" Kentaurosmon declared, rushing out of the room.

"Right away!" Craniamon said, also leaving.

"No," Dynasmon said bluntly.

Alphamon sighed. "Oh well, two out of three isn't bad."

Omnimon's shoulders sagged, a look of weary relief about him. "This is… This good. Really good. I didn't want to have the guilt of killing yet another one of our own on my shoulders."

"And so in the end, justice has prevailed, just as I knew it would!" Jesmon exulted.

"While I suppose this means I can't write any songs or poems about the tragedy of Magnamon, I suppose I can write ones celebrating his being snatched from the jaws of death at the last moment! Truly, everyone wins!" Crusadermon said happily.

"Not me," Dynasmon complained. "I was just starting to think up all the cruel pranks I could play on number 25! Our current one's gotten wise to most of my tricks."

"Suck it up," Leopardmon said unsympathetically.

"Your unhappiness makes me smile," Alphamon said, sounding a tad more cheerful than usual. "I suppose this really is a win for everyone. Except Dynasmon, of course. Fuck him."

"Bah," Dynasmon snorted.

"I haven't won anything, my head is killing me," Examon complained. "And those alarms aren't helping!"

"Huh? Oh, right," Alphamon said. "Better cancel the quarantine."

He tapped the panel before him, and the sound stopped blaring and the lighting returned to normal. Examon sighed gratefully. "That's better. Now I just need some aspirin, and I can consider this a win for me, too."

"Hey, I just realized something. Where have Gallantmon and Gankoomon been all this time?" Leopardmon wondered.

As if on cue, the last two Knights entered the room. "Hey guys, sorry we're late," Gankoomon, who had glowing red eyes and red static crackling around his body, said apologetically. "I haven't been feeling too well ever since that strange Digimon who looked like a Maine Coon bit me the other day, and now I have this weird urge to go wilder than usual and destroy the human world."

"Which is preposterous, of course," Gallantmon, who had a glowing red L insignia resembling a serpent emblazoned on his forehead, scoffed. "What we really should be doing is conquering the humans, for their own good! They are far too chaotic and disorderly, and providing them with the guidance and care that can only be derived from an infallible super AI is the only way they can evolve to their full potential and true prosperity. Yggdrasil is not that AI, which is why I suggest we leave his service immediately and sign on with this new player I recently heard of called Leviathan. He seems pretty legit. Has a sizable corporate power base and everything, and everyone in Cyber Kowloon loves the guy."

Everyone stared at the clearly compromised Knights incredulously. "Oh, damn it," Omnimon groaned.

Alphamon slammed his fist on the table. "This is an emergency alert, Code L and M! Seal all exits, we're going into total quarantine lockdown! Again!"

The lights turned red and the sirens started blaring again, causing Examon to moan in agony. Leopardmon sighed wearily. "Here we go again…"


End file.
